At work today, the kitchen found listings in a supplier’s catalog for pureed foods that are shaped like their original form. So here is how it works: someone takes a carrot, pulps it up, and then puts that pulp into a mold that’s shaped like a carrot. We decided that this must be for a institutional application, like a nursing home, but man, that just most have absolutely no satisfaction at all. A person can’t talk that job up. “I mash up food and then put it back together to look like it’s not.” The only way that job would be cool is if you were doing it with atoms and molecules, not food.

We’ve got this server named Lucy who’s new and she’s not shaping up. She seems dumb, and she’s not catching on. Terra, who’s a bit nutty at times, like I’ve said, doesn’t like her either. I told Terra that if she murdered Lucy I’d lie in court for her. I don’t know if I actually would, but it’d make my day a lot more interesting to have our day hostess murder a server.

After work, Ryan and I were going to go to a new Chinese buffet on Underwood, so we were waiting in the lounge for Tom to show up to go with us, which he never did. In the mean time, Primo shows up and Terra tells him that one of the servers had served some women some drinks, and one of the drinks burnt her tongue and lips fairly badly. This is from spice, not from temperature, to clarify… So Primo says, “Why does that keep happening?!” which made me laugh even more than the story about the customers, since it means that it’s happened a few other times. So I asked him if it had happened before and he said a bunch of times. We discovered that his personal stash of hot sauces had sprung a leak, and the area he keeps his glasses had become tainted, the rims of the glasses acquiring a layer of very very hot sauce. I made a dollar giving that spill a good lick off of Ryan.

The Chinese buffet was disappointing. The only good part of the restaurant was while waiting for a table, the group of us were standing next to the bathroom and a mother was dragging her girl into the bathroom and told her “You just went twenty minutes ago, you’d better get it all out this time!” It was impossible not to laugh.