Katie didn’t call me last night when I thought she would, I thought she would at sevenish, and it didn’t happen until 1:30 in the morning. She told me that she had, what I’d call, an emotional episode… Which is sort of funny, of course not in the “haha” sense, because I had one of those too. I think maybe that hers was worse than mine though. We talked about handful of things, her being in college and her feelings on that situation, and we talked about her and her relationship with my parents. Through the duration of that second part of our conversation, what I had been contemplating for the past two days sort of finalized and I understood two things, the first of which I’ve known for a long time, and the second thing which I didn’t, and invalidates the first. The first thing is that both my parents and Katie are very important to me and I want them to get along and be friendly with each other. The second thing is, I’m responsible for them not getting along. Things I’ve told my mom and things I’ve told Katie, almost all negative about each other. With things I’ve told my mom it was pretty evident, not that I shouldn’t have said any of the things, they were, at least at the time, something I believed to be true… the normal apprehensions about things that you might say to your mom, but the problem that came into play is that I never said anything positive, very little positive about Katie. In the other direction, things I said to Katie, were not so evident to me, and the conversation last night brought all of that to a new light… things I’ve said that had far reaching negative connotations to Katie in regards to my mom, that I had no idea. What a slap in the face this realization has been, I’m responsible for this. It’s my fault. I’ve tried to tell both of my parents recently how important Katie is to me, and that it’s not all bad, like I think I know I make it out to be. I took responsibility for things that I’ve said to Katie in the past and, one hand, Katie was upset because of what I’d done or said, but on the other I think she was a little relieved that I was taking the blame for my own faults. I told her I know I’m not perfect and I hope she knows that too. I have to smile when I think that the girl gives me far too much credit.
So, reader, how does this affect you? I have made Katie out to be a horrible person. I haven’t said much of the good things about her, and I’m apologizing to you, for misrepresenting her. I’m really going to make an effort to change that in the future… But for now, I need to find a shirt, and get to work.