I got in bed, sleep didn’t come, and didn’t feel like it was even close, so I got up. I logged onto Guild Wars to see what was going on, and talked to one of the three people (out of thousands) that I actually like. I told him about what’s going on. Nothing like being open with total strangers. I’ve got this girl who’s super special to me, and she’s telling me to stop talking to her, and he starts replying, and I realize that it was stupid of me to want a decent conversation about relationships (whatever the nature of them may be) with a seventeen year old Canadian boy from British Columbia.

I logged out and wandered Xanga’s site again. I found a new one for the list that I’ll probably be reading regularly. Here is a favorite from her latest post:

I guess Tommy Reed hung himself today, 5-12-05 Does it make me a bad person if I don’t make a big deal out of it?

I don’t know who Tommy Reed is, but I’m happy that someone isn’t making a big deal out of it. Another favorite of hers:

My mom likes her Mother’s day gift more than your mom likes the shit you probably bought her.

She lives in Zanesville and I think she’s fifteen. If I knew her in real life I’d probably hate her, but that’s why we have the Internet, to keep everyone at arm’s length.

I stopped using instant messengers a while back, and I didn’t really figure out why until tonight. The Internet is very much for keeping people at arm’s length, seriously. Chat rooms, blogs, forums, whatever. These channels keep idiots at a safe distance, and you a safe distance should you decide to become an idiot yourself. I know I have, and I’m happy for that distance being there when I did. I stopped using instant messengers because I only talked to people with the messenger that I didn’t want to be kept at arm’s distance. I want them here. I want them now. I want to smell their skin. I want their life to be congruent with my own. I’m going back to bed.