I don’t really know how many regular readers I have. I think five, but maybe I’ve got twenty. I really don’t know. This journal has been up and running for about six months now, I think, and only recently did I start reading other people’s. Most of the ones I find are incredibly boring and/or stupid, which I think mine is most of the time, and some others I put into rotation because the first couple entries I read are good, and then it’s down hill. Right now, none of the ones I have in my bookmarks folder are updating, and haven’t for a few days.
One that I’m interested is a Xanga that is a twenty year old girl’s Xanga and she writes about her lazy and inconsiderate boyfriend most of the time, who I think she’s breaking up with (go her), but the last post leads me to believe that she’s anorexic and she’s trying to justify horribly low calorie intakes.
A new favorite belongs to someone who I chatted with frequently for awhile and then sort lost contact with until recently. Her journal is pretty darn interesting. And, unfortunately for her, it’s because she’s got some messed up stuff in her life. I can recall a few entries of mine which waxed cynical towards my reader, because sometimes I resent that my pain and suffering in life is on display for everyone. Which, of course, I know is my own fault. If I don’t want everyone to know what’s been going on in my life, I can simply omit it, but I often don’t. So, back to hers… She’s recently been writing about this boyfriend of hers who is a total asshole, and I don’t think she understands that. I wrote her an e-mail two days ago telling her to forget that guy (this is based on one Xanga entry of hers about the guy, and which I think there was more than enough evidence for me to come to a solid conclusions that this guy wasn’t out for a endearing relationship), and she told me that I’m not the only person to give her that counsel. So, she recently puts in another post, that reinforces and underscores my opinion that this guy is a total dick. Let’s talk about why.
I used to be very good at being that guy. Being able to manipulate people in such a way that they didn’t even seem to know it. I really really try not to be that guy anymore, but I can think of a lot of times that I’ve been that guy. This boyfriend has taken it a few notches higher than I think I ever did, but I know full well what motivates him and how he operates. She includes a cut’n’paste of a conversation the two of them had online and I can tell that he’s got zero care if there is a relationship with her or not. Here are a few of my favorite statements: “No, you cannot hurt me.” and “Shhh. Try, babe… I may not be able to make you happy.” and “yes… I am forever hurting others.” These sort of comments exonerate him by when things get crappy, he’s already primed the powder so he’s in the clear.
Her? Classic Stupid Girl Syndrome. I like talking to people about them being Stupid Girls because I had SGS too, even though I didn’t have the physical parts someone assumes that must go along with SGS. Here is the hallmark of the Stupid Girl: She thinks that he’s into her big time, and he’s not, and she makes unending excuses for him. I felt like writing to her last night telling her that, but I couldn’t think of a productive way to let her know that her holding on to this guy is a stupid stupid stupid idea. It’d have probably come out like: “Your so dumb, I can’t believe it,” and … she’s not dumb. She’s young, confused, and optimistic. She’s grasping for something that she wants and isn’t there. She’s inexperienced and doesn’t know that the efforts she’s putting into that situation are wasted. I’m not Doctor Phil, I don’t know how to communicate this to her without sounding like I’m condemning her.