So let’s keep this short. I’ll just talk about the most interesting part of my day and then I’m going to read or waste my time playing Guild Wars or watch a movie.

After the morning shift, Ryan and I went to Unpronounceable for some burritos and then back to my house. We packed up the shopping cart (yes, the one from last week) into the bed of my pickup truck and drove to the mall. While circling around the parking lot for a space behind the Sears entrance, some little kid pointed at the cart and started saying something to his mom. That was funny. For this operation, it was very fortunate for us that both of us were past mall employees, so we were both familiar with the service corridors. Ryan checked the door to the corridor that I wanted to use and it was open, like I thought it was. I parked, and we unloaded the cart. I wheeled it into the door, and down the empty hall. At the end, Ryan peeked out the door and I pushed the car out into the mall, which was much busier than I thought it would be for a Friday at three o’clock.

On the way to the mall I had told Ryan that I suspected that not many people would give me a second look. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the majority of America’s malls, the malls don’t have shopping carts, and if they do, chances are you don’t have run of the mall, just in the store that has them. I was right. There was only one exception, aside from the little kid, who noticed there was a shopping cart. I tried my hardest not to look at anyone while I pushed the cart through the mall like I was shopping at Krogers, but I’m pretty darn sure that I was right. Ryan would later tell me that it didn’t seem like anyone was noticing.

I had wanted to leave the cart in the food court, which is the highest traffic part of the mall, and by the Wendy’s which is the farthest part in of the food court. I think I did a pretty good job of keeping a straight face until I got close to a table full of girls who realized that the Emperor was naked. They cracked up laughing so hard, and it messed me up, and I lost it. I kept my pace leisurely even then, not too fast, not too slow. Fast enough to get the job done, but not too fast as to look like I was scared or to draw undue attention.

At Wendy’s there is a condiment stand, where you get your straws and your ketchup and so forth, I had forgotten it was there, but decided that it would serve as a perfect neighbor for my shopping cart. Parking it right next to the stand. Turning around I had realized that Ryan wasn’t right behind me. That freaked me out a bit, since I thought he was behind me, and now I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do as an exit procedure. I looked around and saw him on the far side of the food court with a giant laughing grin on his face. I bee-lined for him and we walked. In front of Auntie Anne’s Stupid Pretzel Shop the lone ranger of the mall security force walked past us. I braced myself for the run I was prepared to take.

Here is why I was planning on running: because it’d have made it a lot more fun to run from the mall cop. That’s all. Not because I was scared, or freaked out, or afraid of some sort of legal repercussions or because I’d be banned from the mall. A good dash from mall security would have made this endeavor so much more fun. But he didn’t stop us, he probably didn’t even know about the cart yet.

We walked through Sears and back to the truck. Laughing all the way.