It’s going on three o’clock and I’m still at work. I’m not at Subway and I haven’t made it to the bank yet. Tom pulls out four bags of calamari to thaw this morning and about quarter after one I deem the bags thawed enough to start cutting. Quickly, I realize that this is going to shape up to be my worst experience with squid. Even worse than the time that I got a sharp quill jammed under a fingernail.

All four bags of squid have the mandible in place. The other brand that we get in has those cleaned out. Let me explain to you what it’s like to get those casings out. The mandible casing is like the ball of snot that a smoker coughs up out of his or her lungs and has a bit of solidness to it. When squeezing that assembly out past the tentacles that is like squeezing a pimple, but instead of just getting some white goo, you also get a pair of chitinous mandibles.

Also, there was a healthy amount of the quills left in the mantles for me to clean out too, which isn’t a pain really, but I find it slightly gross to feel for them. The mantles are like a tube made out of water logged cold Play dough, and the quills are like shards of glass, that is if they were plastic instead of glass, but just as sharp.

So, I’m in the home stretch, near 2:30pm, and Terra comes into the kitchen and asks if I mind staying in the restaurant while she goes to the BMV. Fine. I’ve been here long enough this shift, what’s a little while longer. She leaves, comes back, and asks if I’m sure it’s ok with me, yes yes, just go. She leaves, comes back and asks me if I want her key just in case, no, just go. sigh